Bold Idea: Being Wrong is Awesome

You are an imperfect wonder who gets to make mistakes. Enjoy it.

I was raised in a family of strong-willed stoics who prided themselves on being right. What I say is right. What I think is right. I am right. Way before the information of the world was on a handheld device where you could look up facts to prove that you were right, we trusted each other to settle the score: “Mom, who’s right?! Ha ha I’m right!” It was all in good fun.

But the flipside of an identity that needs to be right is an aversion to being wrong. Being wrong can feel humiliating and maybe even terrifying, especially in an age of “social media cancel culture” where average citizens fear being publicly shamed and socially shunned for one unfortunate misstep.

I’ve embarrassed myself a time or two (hundred) when I’ve doubled-down and refused to be wrong. I remember a heated argument I had with a family member who told me terrible things about PETA. PETA intentionally euthanized adoptable puppies? Impossible! I googled when I got home, and it was easy to source it as true. Oh the feelings! I felt horrified and betrayed by PETA, and I also felt deeply ashamed by my behavior. I’d left no space for the information that he was sharing to be true; absolutely convinced that I was right, I’d verbally beat him into submission.

A few years ago I heard about the Dunning-Kruger effect on an episode of “This American Life.” It introduced the concept of the psychological bias of a person who overestimates their knowledge and ability in an area because they don’t know what they don’t know. As someone with an identity attached to being right, I was haunted by this. Was I the overconfident asshole who didn’t know what she didn’t know?

Turns out the answer is undeniably 100% YES, and it’s my MFing superpower.

I get to not know what I don’t know. Which means I get to make mistakes: big mistakes and small mistakes. I get to win entire games of Wrong Bingo when I say the wrong thing, wear the wrong outfit, bet on the wrong outcome, turn down the wrong street, leave at the wrong time, trust the wrong person, and choose the wrong path. Bingo!

Being wrong is being alive, it can be thrilling and fruitful. Every time I’m wrong I learn something I didn’t know before! Knowledge is impermanent. It’s continually shaped by new information and new perspectives.

Have opinions and a point of view, but don’t get stuck on a one-way street. Share knowledge, swap stories, exchange ideas, and leave room for not knowing what you don’t know so you can more easily integrate something new. Be grateful when you are wrong. It means you get to add moves to your repertoire.

AFFIRMATION: I've got a right to be wrong

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