Stop Identifying with Your Resistance
Use your imagination to give your Resistance its own unique identity.
Have you ever been fired up to start something new—maybe write that blog post, go for a run, or tackle that project you've been putting off—only to hear a voice in your head listing all the reasons why you should probably do it later? Or tomorrow? Or never?
That voice isn't you. That's your Resistance.
Your Resistance Isn't You
One of the most powerful mindset shifts in the Lil' Habit method is learning how to stop identifying with your Resistance and instead experiencing it as a separate entity with its own agenda. When we identify with our Resistance, we buy into its story as absolute truth. We believe we really are too tired, too busy, or that we truly do need to vacuum the baseboards of our entire home before we can sit down to write.
I can always tell when someone is identified with their Resistance because they present their Resistance's story as fact. I’ll give you my favorite example.
Ryan’s Resistance is the self-appointed judge of what's "cool." Whenever Ryan considers stepping outside his comfort zone, his Resistance leans in with convincing reasons why his new endeavor would be uncool. Ryan stays stuck when he treats these stories as his own authentic voice rather than recognizing them as his Resistance's attempt to maintain his status quo. The irony makes us laugh when he realizes … because when has playing it safe and maintaining your status quo ever been "cool"?
This is why it helps to identify the storyteller as someone other than YOU—once Ryan recognizes protests that center "coolness" are coming from his Resistance, he can evaluate those protests more objectively and make choices aligned with his values and goals.
The Pressfield Version: Resistance as the Enemy
I first learned about Resistance from Steven Pressfield's book The War of Art (which I happen to love and highly recommend). Pressfield introduces Resistance as the enemy of creative work—an "interior self-sabotage" that prevents us from doing what matters most.
This framing made immediate sense to me as a writer. If I love to write so much, why am I not writing? Pressfield's concept helped me to stop identifying with the desire NOT to write. It's not ME avoiding the page—it's my Resistance trying to stop me!
The Lil' Habit Twist
Then I learned from a personality expert about different personality types and the various strategies for how to perceive and work with each type. And I began to see my Resistance in a new light. What if it isn't my enemy? What if Resistance is actually a Misunderstood Helper?
In the Lil' Habit method, we recognize that Resistance isn't a saboteur or inherently "bad." It actually serves an important purpose: to keep you safe by maintaining your Status Quo. Your Resistance pops up anytime something threatens your comfort zone, focusing entirely on what you might lose if something disrupts your safe and secure routine.
Meet Your Resistance at the Threshold
Your Resistance stands guard at the threshold of your Status Quo. Anytime you start something new or level up on something you're already doing, there it is—warning you off with a story specifically designed to work on you.
My own Resistance script takes the form of self-advocacy. It’s me against the systemic pressures trying to pin me down. This messaging is entirely convincing because it speaks to my values. Your Resistance will do the same—it will frame your desire for growth as a threat to something you deeply value.
Give Your Resistance Its Own Identity
The magic happens when you use your imagination to give your Resistance a unique identity separate from yourself. In my coaching practice, I guide clients to visualize their Resistance as a character with specific traits, mannerisms, and concerns and then we work with an artist to render that character to make it something tangible (see the photo above).
My own Resistance is a 12-year-old girl with big plans for the neighborhood gang. She rebels against anyone telling her what to do (including me), and everything that isn't fun is "THE WORST" or "SO DUMB." When I feel myself wanting to stamp my feet in frustration, I know she's taken the wheel.
Another client imagines their Resistance as a plump, worried grandmother who loves them unconditionally but is absolutely terrified something bad will happen. In her zeal to protect, Grandma always imagines the worst possible outcome to every scenario.
Don't React, Respond
The breakthrough comes when you stop reacting to your Resistance, by retreating or going to battle, and instead you tune-in and respond to its script.
Developing the following practice creates the space you need to identify the storyteller as someone other than you as you engage in a dialogue.
Pause and listen to what your Resistance is worried about
Respect and respond to its concerns rather than dismiss them
Make it lil' by committing to just 60 seconds of the challenging activity
By acknowledging your Resistance's concerns and then providing gentle solutions, you create a path forward without triggering an all-out rebellion.
Next time you feel that push-back against something you genuinely want to do, pause and get curious. What would your Resistance look like if it were a character in a story? What's its favorite phrase? What expression does it wear? What is it most worried about?
When you give your Resistance its own identity, you create space between its agenda and your desires. You can acknowledge its concerns without being controlled by them. And in that space, you find the freedom to take one small step forward—even if it's just 60 seconds of action—toward the life you truly want.
To help you get started, I offer a range of resources:
Download the free Kickstart Workbook to dive into the basics of the Lil' Habit method and start exploring your own lil' habit.
Check out the 1-Hour Kickstart Course for a quick and actionable introduction to the key principles of the method. Perfect if you're eager for change and ready to DIY.
For a more comprehensive and personalized experience, enroll in the 6-Week Dream a Lil' Dream Program. This structured and supportive program includes 1:1 coaching and all the resources you need to achieve your goals.
If you're new to coaching and want to sample the benefits at your own pace, try the Monthly Subscription. It offers a flexible timeline and a gradual approach to personal growth at an amazing value.
If this approach to understanding your inner obstacles resonates with you, help make it stick by discussing it with a friend—or better yet, introduce them to their own Resistance!
Disclaimer: My Substack posts are my personal reflections and should not be taken as clinical guidance or treatment. Consult qualified experts regarding your specific health needs.